In this #coachbetter episode Kim chats with Fran Prolman, author, educational leadership consultant and founder of The Learning Collaborative. Fran brings a wealth of experience in educational leadership that is so relevant for coaches and middle leaders, and this episode is a deep dive into so many strategies, ideas and resources for all informal leaders!

In this episode Fran and Kim talk about …

Sliding door moments – how to recognize them & what they can bring
Recognizing your potential as a leader
Key skills for all new leaders – in formal or informal leadership roles
The difference between coaching and mentoring
The importance of confidentiality in coaching
Common barriers towards building a coaching culture

This episode weaves together leadership and coaching in such an organic way. If you’ve been a long time subscriber, you know that as a coach, you are an informal leader in your school, and this episode really highlights that element of the role. If you’re working towards recognizing and building on your informal leadership, this episode is for you!

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Show Notes

Please share a little bit about your journey as an educator. Tell us the story of how you got to where you are today?

One big accident after another. Motto: always say yes, and then you’ll figure it out. A confluence of both. Come from a family of educators, we do school, we always have, if there are degrees to earn, we’re busy earning them. Started as an interim to run a program for Gifted & Talented K-6 grade students, profoundly gifted students. Earned my masters at night, ended up being contacted to do a G&T program for K-12. I love building something from nothing, or total brokenness where I get to diagnose and heal everyone. 10th largest school district in the US (Fairfax City, USA), doing PD, then admin, then central office, earned doctorate in org development, international development and teacher development. Fulbright scholar. It’s the relationships that mean the most. It’s relationships that allow people to trust me and really tell me what the broken pieces are.

I know you talk about Sliding Door moments in your work as a speaker – do you have one to share with us? How did you know and recognize it at the time?

That’s the key, to know when they’re dropping on your lap, to raise your consciousness to mine for them, so you can say yes, so they don’t pass you by. I’m hard pressed to think what wasn’t a sliding door moment in my career. First Fullbright scholarship, I was the first alternate – one person dropped out four days before the trip. That single sliding door moment has changed the trajectory of my life for the rest of my life. The second one was Bud Spulane, Supt of Fairfax, retired and then went to State to supervise the international schools in Europe. I know I’m a great researcher and intellectually curious, I trust my ability to learn. One thing leads to another. If you have the power to observe, be conscious, be intentional and trust yourself to just say yes, you’ll….

Mining what’s around you to anticipate what could come out of it.

How do you do this:

Get out of your own head and look outward, notice, wonder, see patterns that exist, meet as many people who are different from you as possible, put yourself in scary situations as much as possible, open your eyes.
When you see things that make you do a double take, investigate more
Look for people who are smarter than me, looking for opportunities lets us keep growing and learning
Off the beaten track, what can i learn and from where

Every year I write a new book, because it keeps me current.

When we think about educators looking for opportunities to move into leadership, how can we help them recognize their potential? What are some clues that you might have leadership potential if you don’t see yourself as a leader (yet)?

People in formal leadership positions are in a position to reframe how they see themselves. Everybody is a coach, everyone needs to see themselves as a coach. When you get to a certain place in your life, it’s your obligation to mentor, be a sponsor, pull people up.

Reframe ourselves to see ourselves as coaches to mentor and sponsor, and then get going: mentor and sponsor. Don’t wait for people to ask. (Theory of Generativity: Eric Ericson).

Cultivate a self belief that I have leadership capacity within me. Don’t have to tell anyone that we feel that way. A quiet inner conversation that says I have something to bring to the table here. I do have the ability to build capacity in others.

Have to know you have the ability, you can do it, you are in fact obligated to not just build capacity in ourselves, but also build capacity in others. Why would I shrink myself to make someone else feel less threatened.

When you finally get that first leadership role, in particular a middle leader position, what are some of the key skills educators need to develop?

Table of contents from Building Your Instructional Leadership book

Intentionally knowing the strategies to build a psychologically safe environment (build empathy, high functioning teams, culture of growth)
What constitutes learning and mastery, what does it mean to give effective descriptive feedback, that leads to improved student learning
Observe with specificity, collecting notes and giving feedback while maintaining relationships
Addressing mediocrity
Dealing with difficult conversations: passive aggressive, resistant teachers, challenging people
Building your own resilience: if we don’t put the oxygen mask on ourselves first, we’re no help to anyone else (lonely in a leadership position)

All those skills might be cloudy / gray when you’re in a classroom position

When you move up into a new position and your ego takes a hit. There are constant moments of self doubt. We need to give ourselves grace when we are in new jobs. Identify what you need to get better at to exist here. Help me make a list of what’s most important to learn, pick a topic a month & who do I need to talk to. To not do that means you’re short changing yourself.

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Show Notes continued…

Coaching is less visible than mentoring – what makes it different?

Coaching is based on observation skills – i’m looking for patterns over a period of time

I need to know how to capture this in data form, so it’s not me or you, it’s data

I don’t tell anyone what to do, you can’t give advice and fix someone

If I”m ego driven, I believe I can tell you what to do

Coaching is based on observation skills – it’s about looking for patterns over a period of time. Because coaches know how to capture data, to see patterns, they can take that data and flip it into a coaching question, and then do not fill the silence.

Rather, because I’m so skilled at observation, because I know how to capture data, and how I can see patterns, I can take that data and flip it into a coaching question, and then, I do not fill the silence.

Have to manage my own ego, I’m not here to fix anyone. I’m here to be a great data collector, synthesizer of data, reframer of data, into an open ended question that you can’t answer with one word (or yes or no). The brilliance of the question is that it’s going to put my nose into the data.

Coaches must manage their own ego. It’s not about fixing another person. It’s about being a great data collector, synthesizer of data, reframer of data, into an open ended question that can’t be answered with one word. The brilliance of the question is that it’s going to put your nose into the data.

Why is it so important to separate coaching from appraisal

Coaches can never be evaluators. This is why admin can never ask coaches what they’re seeing. If you’re so curious about what’s happening

Coaching based appraisal is a direct road to ruining the culture of a school. Every action leads to reactions.

Olympic coaches are investing hour after hour day after day for this persons one three minute performance. For those four years, they are receiving descriptive feedback (not stickers)

There are no medals. Once every four years, they have an evaluator, the Olympic judges. They are not the coaches. We need to be coming from an Olympics model.

The power of our growth is not a contrived moment of evaluation. On average 180 days to a school year, supervisors might pop into classrooms twice. What am I doing for the other 178 days, what are the conversations that we’re having. It’s not a reliable and valid system.

A valid system is everybody learns how to be a magnificent coach.

Separately we might have to do evaluation. Growing capacity in other people is an everyday opportunity.

Both evaluation and coaching are about the data and reflection about the data – the person who’s being coached is reflecting.

Without data it’s affective data and it’s going to get personal. Which allows us to have a cognitive conversation which is psychologically safe and respectful, and if the person asks, I have resources I can hand them to you.

A skillful coach knows how to lead you to the trough of water you can drink from.

What should school leaders (or coaches) consider when working towards building a coaching culture? What structures can schools put in place to create this kind of environment? What should they avoid? What common problems or obstacles do you see?

Be a great listener. I need to know how to not speak. How to craft questions.

If I have a huge driving need to speak, I need to be aware of that and muzzle myself.

Imagine a culture of a place, were all of us withhold our own judgement, our own need to fix people, our own need to tell our story. We are clear about our tendencies and making sure they don’t get in the way. They shut down our listening and our capacity ot coach.

Imagine a place where we all really want to hear what’s important to you and I’m not here to change your mind. I’m just seeking to understand and come from.

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Stepping into Your Leadership with Fran Prolman [307]